20 Nov 2009

Yes I am actually rubbish.

I haven't posted anything for over a month. This has put a serious dent in my plan for blogger domination. Bollocks.

There are a myriad of reasons as to why I've so unbelievably slack. Primarily due to my quite frankly laughable workload. But there is another, more personal, slightly less rational reason.

I've joined a rugby team.

For those of you who are unaware of the game of rugby allow me to explain:

Rugby is a sport played by a team of fifteen where an oval ball is carried. The only way to stop an opposing player who has the ball is to bodily tackle him. Preferably as hard as physically possible.

Now allow me (if you will) to place this into context. I weigh 11 1/2 stone (161 lb for those in the Land of Yank). I am hitting monolithic monsters who have the edge on a fully grown African elephant. Their mates call them 'Ripper'. They eat steel and drink only diesel. They laugh when they stub their toe. They think dwarf tossing is an Olympic sport. Hell, they think that the 'Terminator' films are documentaries. The only time they felt fear was when their girlfriend had her first orgasm.

Put simply I'm way out of my league.

But has that stopped me? No. No it fucking hasn't.

There are several reasons for this. Firstly, there is nothing that compares to being part of a team. Secondly, pain is merely an excuse to have a lie down. Thirdly, there is quite a lot to be said for absolutely nobbing a truck of a prop.

So despite my obvious lack of physical presence I am having a great time. If you've never played rugby and fancy it there is no doubt a team near you. Go along to a training session. Go on. You'll like it. I promise.


  1. i do believe i will be passing on the opportunity to play rugby. glad to hear you are alive and well.

  2. Ah, rugby...

    I went to a tiny private school that had a grand total of about 10 boys between the ages of 14-16 or so.

    So our rugby games were usually 3v3.

    There was this huge kid that weighed about 20 stone.

    Whichever team was on won. We basically just gave him the ball, piled up behind and pushed him the length of the field.

    ... we only ever played rugby a few times...

  3. I have always been a little too afraid of pulverising my insides to give rugby a serious go.
    At towards 13st, I am a little heavier than you, but suspect I would still feel a bit slight.
    Nah, I'll stick with pansy football (and I don't even play much of that any more).

  4. Miss you Sir Duke!

    I had noticed your absence... and thought maybe you had fallen upon the same fate as I have, LIFE! So here I will be, missing you, but completely understanding.

    Enjoy your Rugby with Monsteresq Terminators that enjoy toe stubbing, but keep that adorable face! And we will hear from you when we hear from you. :)

  5. dude, i almost thought you quit blogging. you and amanda has been off for a month, i think. glad you're back!

    rugby? that's too physical, worst than basketball. anyway, good luck with your team!

  6. First, Thanks for the Yank translation, it saved me a reach for the old iPhone. As for Rugby, you know, I think I could handle getting pummeled by a pack of glistening, young men, in matching outfits. I just don’t know that I could handle the recurring agony, of being lined up upon a chain link fence, in front of two team captains who would only choose you, over the kid with the leg braces.